View source for Erins 2005 digest

==Start of Ceremony==

<blockquote>Massive Auditorium<br>
The crumbling stonework and marble arches are draped with streamers and slowly-deflating balloons, while confetti is scattered across the velvet seats. Columns covered in frescoes rise to the sky, and between them walk grumpy gladiators pushing brooms.

You can see: READ THIS PLEASE, xyzzy drinking game, Note for the Xyzzy awards, a chalkboard listing the XYZZY Award winners<br>
Players: transcript_bot, [[Zhou Fang|Fang]], [[ParserGirl]], [[BBBen]], [[Grimm Sharlak|GrimmSharlak]], [[One-Eyed Jack|One-EyedJack]], [[David Welbourn|DavidW]], Guest1, [[Christopher Cole|chriscole]], Guest2 ([[NewKid]]), [[A. Bomire|abomire]], nologinneeded, [[Purple Dragon|PurpleDragon]], stormchild<br>
Visible Exits: west</blockquote>

'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Alright, I'd like to officially welcome everyone to the 2006 AIFA Awards"

(applause)

'''One-EyedJack''' says, "The Erin's are the legacy of the AIF world, like a monument or a really nasty case of herpes. Something that will stay with us forever"<br>
'''Guest2''' asks, "emote<NewKid>goes WTF?"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "I actually prepared an erotic song and dance number to open the show, but it got just a little TOO hot and now the pages of my notebook are all stuck together"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "The timing of that was a little strange..."<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>No Kidding."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' is suddenly glad he's not in the running... Ew.<br>
'''abomire''' scratches his head.<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' dances in an erotic manner

(hooting, wolf whistles)

'''PurpleDragon''' says, "take it off."<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "He never put it on."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "please, don't throw the money, stick it in the G-String"<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>Ewww."<br>
'''chriscole''' exclaims, "doh!"<br>
'''abomire''' exclaims, "Some things I *will* not do. But that's not one of them!"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Uhhhh, I left my money in my other pants..."<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "I wish I had"<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "I left my money in OEJ's other pants."<br>

==Best Male PC==
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "The player character is an incredibly important part of AIF. In an interactive envirnment, you are the PC and the PC is you. Immersion is everything"<br>
'''Guest1''' goes home.<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "and so that's why a good PC is so important"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "which leads to our first award, for Best Male PC"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' asks, "hmmm, should I name the nominees or just say the winners?"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "I wouldn't mind hearing the nominees again..."<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "Runner up and winner was what we did last year."<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "But it's your show."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "I'm gonna load up the nominees in another window"<br>
'''Guest2''' asks, "<NewKid>Where is a good list of nominees?"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "ok, the full list will be released after anyway, so I'll just say the top three or so"<br>
'''DavidW''' says, "The ballot is what I'm looking at."<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "If you voted you know anyway."<br>
'''BBBen'''crosses his fingers.<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "coming in third place, we have David Fever of [[Fever Cabin]]"<br>

(applause)

'''BBBen''' says, "http://erins.aifcommunity.org/"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Placing second, we have the Man with no name, from [[Ideal Pacific Coast University]]"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "I got a fever, and the only thing that can cure it is more cowbell"<br>

(applause)

'''Guest2''' exclaims, "<NewKid>Missed it by THAT much!"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "an the WINNA is"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "oh wait"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' hushes in anticipation.<br>
'''abomire''' claps NewKid on the back.<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "err I mess up already"<br>
'''chriscole''' laughs<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "that's ok, we still love ya."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Newkids guy was actually 4th place, sorry about that"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "That's a shame!"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Not a bad PC at all..."<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>Missed it by THAT THAT THAT much....<g>"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "in Second place, is Buzz from [[the Sex Artist]]"<br>
'''abomire''' takes hand away from NewKid's back and looks sheepish.<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "I came last."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Ah, of course, Buzz!"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "and the WINNA is"<br>
'''abomire''' says, "Good job, Ninny, whereever you are!""<br>
'''DavidW''' says, "yay"<br>
'''riishl''' arrives from the west.<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "that's what my girlfriend always says BBBen"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "The REAL man with no name, from [[Tomorrow Never Comes]]!!!!"<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "I didn't know you knew about the two of us..."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Congratulations A Bomire"

(claps, cheers)

'''GrimmSharlak''' hums the Bond theme.<br>
'''abomire''' exclaims, "Good grief! Are you kidding? I thought I'd get creamed by David Fever or IPCU!"<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "Well, you didn't."<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "Look and that, talented and humble."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "it's the Bond factor"<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "I did."<br>
'''abomire''' says, "Thanks a lot everyone who voted for me."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "and hung like a gorilla"<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>I wouldn't think so. Your guy had a genuine character. Mine was intentionally vanilla, so I was surprised to be nominated."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "nothing wrong with vanilla, they are easy to identify with, but Bomire's character was great"<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "Mine was intentionally vanilla too - I was surprised to be noiminated."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Nothing like a world-travelling, woman-bedding super spy to epitomise our favourite type of NPC."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Ooops, PC!"<br>
'''abomire''' says, "A lot of that goes to [[Lucilla Frost]], who helped make sure my guy was 'British' enough."<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "Especially since I didn't nominate myself at all this time round."<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>My kinda guy in general."

==Best Female PC==
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Okay, the second award is for the best FEMALE Player Character"<br>
'''BBBen'''exclaims, "Woohoo!"<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "Hubba hubba"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Here we go..."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "In third place, we have the girl with no name, from [[Casting]]"<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "I liked her."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Multiple costumes = thumbs up."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "by [[Fellatrix_uk]] by the way"<br>
'''abomire''' exclaims, "Great job for a first game!"<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "And in an unusual platform."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Much love for [[Inform]] from me!"<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>I'm not sure I played any of these. But with a name like fellatrix_UK, I'll have to give it a whirl."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Not that I'd ever actual program in it..."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "The runner-up is Melissa, from [[Choices (game)|Choices]], [[Decisions]], and [[Options]]"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "By [[David Whyld]]"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Ah, a character I'm quite familiar with..."<br>
'''BBBen'''asks, "You've reviewed all those games, haven't you Grimm?"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "I think everyone identified with her need to bed hot women!"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "I think I skipped Decisions, but returned for Options."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "And the WINNER is..."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Laura from [[Laura's Awakening]]"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "by [[TotalDirt2000|TotalDirt]]"

(applause)

'''BBBen'''asks, "Is TotalDirt here?"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "Congratulations to TotalDirt, who lives up to his name by not even showing up for his goddamn award!"<br>
'''chriscole''' laughs<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "just kidding, I love you all"<br>
'''abomire''' says, "I think you are thinking of 'Totally Dirty'"<br>
'''BBBen'''asks, "But me especially, right OEJ?"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' Winks at BBBen<br>
'''BBBen'''blushes.<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>That's not LOVE, BBBen..."<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "You don't understand us."<br>
'''abomire''' asks, "Is it wrong that I'm turned on by that?"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "what we have transcends love"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "To close the show: heartfelt duet with OEJ and BBBen."<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "Debbie didn't show - I'm projecting onto other people."<br>
'''[[A. Ninny|A_Ninny]]''' arrives from the west.

(and there is much greeting)

'''Guest2''' exclaims, "<NewKid>Well, about damn time!"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "whew"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Ah, the organiser!"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "made"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "it"<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "We've only done two awards, and some flirting."<br>
'''A_Ninny''' exclaims, "FLIRTING! WOOHOO!!"

==Best Male NPC==
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "The next category is for the MEAT of AIF. The things that keep you coming back until your palms are raw and erotic synonyms are emblazoned on your pupils"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "the NPCs"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "please no more homosexual jokes while I'm watching wrestling"<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>BBB and OEJ have done the flirting, ABomire has matusbated furiously during it all."<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "figures."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Dammit, Cole, we don't get to watch wrestling here for another 24 or so hours!"<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>And BTW, MEat is not nominated."<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>Damn shift key."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "I'll stay mum about the results"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Best Male NPC is up next"<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "Unusual award, best male NPC."<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "Oh, LoveLettersToLove seems to be here."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "this should be a close race"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Coming in third place, we have Jim from [[the Sex Artist]]"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "BTW, I forgot to bring home my list of the winners, so I'm going to be as surprised as everyone else :p"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "I think there's a place for them, especially with more female PCs"

(cheers for Jim and A. Ninny)

'''One-EyedJack''' says, "remember horn-dogs, not all NPCs have to be sex related"<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>Hey, some of us wated a lot of time, er, put in a lot of time on thse guys."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "I enjoy a well-written male NPC (in a non-sexual way)"<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "What about Bruno in [[Crossworlds Part 3: The Final Far Far Away Frontier|CW3]]? Not even a nomination."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Don't worry about the results, CC, I get read the recap's to see if it's WORTH watching!"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "The runner up, is Sir Richard, from [[Weekend]]"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "by [[Pierre]], btw"

(applause)

'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>Ooooh. Adam speaks again."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "That Adam is a tormented soul, indeed."

'''[[Love Letters to Love|LLTL]]''' arrives from the west.<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "And the Male NPC, who comes HARD for the Win"

(greetings for LLTL)

'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "Calamaro, from [[Tomorrow Never Comes]]!"

(cheering; congrats to A. Bomire)

'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Hail to the villain!"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Bomire off to a strong start..."<br>
'''abomire''' says, "Thanks again everyone! Calamaro was a character I really enjoyed writing."<br>
'''A_Ninny''' cues sinister music<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "Villians are always fun."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "I liked him but his name always reminds me of that time I ate bad squid at a sushi bar"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "it reminds me of the big truck from Simpsons"<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "Well, he did have an underwater lair."<br>
'''Guest2''' asks, "<NewKid>Bad squid? You mean there is good squid?"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Good point"<br>
'''abomire''' says, "I stole the name from squid - I think it is 'squid' in Italian or Portugeuse. I can't remember."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "I think a good squid fought Godzilla one time"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "I enjoy calamari, dammit..."

==Best Female NPC==
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "The Next category is something near and dear to all of our hearts, or maybe, more aptly, a different part of our anatomy"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "and there was a big squid motif in his lair of bad-doing"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Best FEMALE NPC"<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>It's Calamari."<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>But Calamaro sounds more sinister."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Brrrrrrring on the laaaaadies."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "Admiral Ackbar was a Mon Calamari"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' <-- stomach rumbling at the thought of calamari<br>
'''Guest2''' exclaims, "<NewKid>Woot! Woot!"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Tramping up third place, we have Claire from [[the Sex Artist]]"

(oohs, ahhhs, woots)

'''chriscole''' stares at the cleavage of all the nominated female NPCs<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "She was... Awesome."<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "the dame of the opera..."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Walking into second with a sultry sway, we have Debbie from [[Crossworlds Part 3: The Final Far Far Away Frontier|Crossworlds, part III]]"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "... and the vacuum cleaner"<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "See - second place. THAT's why Debbie stood me up."<br>
'''DavidW''' says, "ha"<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "Congrats about Claire A_Ninny"<br>
'''abomire''' asks, "Maybe she'll be at one of the after parties?"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' asks, "Where's the "More Debbie Please" fanclub this year?"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "she's come a long way"<br>
'''Guest2''' asks, "<NewKid>Who told her in advance?"<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "She'll be at ALL of the after parties."<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>No, she's come a lot of ways..."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Congrats to Ninny and BBBen!"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "and Screwing her way to the top of the charts and the bottom of our hearts, we have Gertrude from [[Ideal Pacific Coast University|IPCU]]"<br>
'''abomire''' congratulates Ninny.<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "Debbie is great."<br>
'''abomire''' congratulates BBBen as well.

(congrats to NewKid)

'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>Thank you."<br>
'''abomire''' says, "Congrats from me as well, NK. Good job on a really well written character!""<br>
'''chriscole''' congratulates all the losing NPCs backstage, privately<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>She started as a throwaway. But I just kept expanding her role."<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "As she expanded your..."<br>
'''A_Ninny''' guffaws<br>
'''Guest2''' exclaims, "<NewKid>Heh!"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Can't get enough double entendres!"<br>
'''abomire''' says, "Odd how some of the best characters work out that way."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' chuckles along...<br>
'''BBBen'''exclaims, "In-you-end-oh!"

==Best M/F Sex Scene==
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "The next category is something we all know and love... or even if you don't know it, you still probably love it"<br>
'''Guest2''' asks, "<NewKid>BBB, I don't do that in my games, remember?"<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "Good point."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "I mean, the way a man and a woman physical express themselves when they are in love, or come to a mutually satisfying financial arrangement"<br>
'''BBBen'''points to his good point.<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "I mean, the best hetero sex scene in AIF"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' cues up the 70's porn music.<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "I just wanted to be the first one to say 'cock'"<br>
'''Guest2''' exclaims, "<NewKid>Yay! Vanilla Sex!"<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>It can be so spicy@"<br>
'''abomire''' laughs at GrimmSharlak.<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "you can't say 'cock' here"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' gives Chris a SUH<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "heating up the third position, we have the PC and Mona, from [[Ideal Pacific Coast University|IPCU]]"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "I don't know the word 'cock'"<br>
'''BBBen'''exclaims, "You just said cock. Oh no! I said cock! Aarg!"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "I don't think there's any need for language like that."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' reflects on the memories...<br>
'''chriscole''' exclaims, "Mona!"<br>
'''Guest2''' exclaims, "<NewKid>Wow, my random blowjob generatron unit get some recognition!"<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "My games don't give that message any more."

(cheers for NewKid)

'''abomire''' exclaims, "Heh-heh....you said 'unit'!"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Breaking the bedsprings at #2, we have Buzz and Claire from [[the Sex Artist]]"<br>
'''Guest2''' exclaims, "<NewKid>Srpoing!"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "I don't know how to stick your cock in her ass"<br>
'''BBBen'''cheers slightly louder for A Ninny.

(cheers for Clairs and A. Ninny)

'''Guest2''' exclaims, "<NewKid>Or, more accurately, Sproing!"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "thanks, everyone"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "and the premier pinnacle of pussy pounding, the winner of best Heterosexual Sex scene, we have the PC and Gertrude, also from [[Ideal Pacific Coast University|IPCU]]!!"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "that was a fun scene to write - I just wish I had more time before the comp deadline to make it better"

(cheers, congrats for NewKid)
"
'''chriscole''' asks, "BTW, how many voters did we have this year?"<br>
'''Guest2''' asks, "<NewKid>Well now, you folks really liked Cheyenne, now didn't you?"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Almost a given after she one best NPC, but well deserved anyways!"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "we had 30 voters"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Urgh, can't spell!"<br>
'''BBBen'''asks, "What's that? About 6 more than last year?"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "About."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "4000+ members at the archive, 30 voters"<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>I actually thought I was gonna be sunk in this category, with two noms."<br>
'''abomire''' exclaims, "Wait...I voted for Cheyenne, not Gertrude!"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Sweet, by 2050 we'll have 100 voters..."<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "I think about 100 peeps downloaded the ballot"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' notes: calculations may not be accurate.<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "Bollocks to the non-voters."<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "that just makes us actual voters louder."<br>
'''BBBen'''asks, "Were there any hanging chad issues?"<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>Hey, I didn't vote myself. I was nominated too much, and had not played enough games."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "While I can't say I've ever experienced the next category, and can sure as hell say I do LIKE IT! And never let it be said that the AIF community doesn't support alternate lifestyle, especially when that lifestyles..."<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "Wow, that's a worse voter turnout then U.S. elections."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "especially when that lifestyle involves two hotties going down on each other in a hot tub"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' giggles at LL2L<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>We need more Iraqis..."<br>
'''BBBen'''exclaims, "Yeeehaaaw!"<br>
'''abomire''' asks, "What fun is it to vote if you can't vote for yourself at least once?"<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>AIF could give new meaning to the Pruple Finger....."

==Best Lesbian Sex Scene==
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "the Next Category is for best Lesbian sex scene"<br>
'''BBBen'''exclaims, "Hotties in hot tubs!"<br>
'''Guest2''' exclaims, "<NewKid>Lesbos, Lesbos....!"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' asks, "Hmmm, 80's porn music or 90's...?"<br>
'''chriscole''' exclaims, "hot!"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Got it!"<br>
'''abomire''' asks, "Uh..hottie tubs?"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' cues up the Xena: Warrior Princess theme.<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "1690's porn music"<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>Go with 90s"<br>
'''Guest2''' exclaims, "<NewKid>NO, that's better!"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Holy crap that's an old joke, I apologise!"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Coming long, and coming hard, into third place, we have Lauren and Ashley from [[Lauren's Awakening]]"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' hooty hoo's.<br>
'''BBBen'''applauds.<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>Coming long and hard doesn't work for this. COming repeatedly in theird place..."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "I'd buy that for a dollar"<br>
'''abomire''' aplauds for TotalDirt, then see he didn't show and stops.<br>
'''Guest2''' NewKid pants heavily.<br>
'''chriscole''' nods languidly<br>
'''BBBen'''exclaims, "Yeah! Robocop reference! Good job, CC!"<br>
'''chriscole''' exclaims, "Robocop rules!"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "They had to munch a lot of carpet to get there, but reaching number 2 we have Heidi with Alanna in [[Pool Party]]"<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "I'm such a nerd. Maybe that's why Debbie didn't show."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "holy shit"<br>
'''LLTL''' quietly sneaks away from podium.

(cheers to A. Bomire and Chris Cole)

'''Guest2''' says, "Oh, I'da voted for that one if I had voted...."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' is surprised this is the first appearance of Pool Party.<br>
'''abomire''' says, "Good job, CC (who wrote that scene)."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "I was a little surprised by how much Heidi was nominated."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "And lapping up the juices of love at #1, we have Betty and Veronica from [[Archie's Birthday - Chapter 1: Reggie's Gift|Archie's Birthday]]!!!"<br>
'''BBBen'''withdraws his congratulations for AB, who has enough acclaim as it is.<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "Rochelle probably should have gotten a nod."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "my most homely character"<br>
'''Guest2''' exclaims, "<NewKid>Why? Heidi rocks!"

(congrats to Purple Dragon)

'''BBBen''' says, "I liked Heidi."<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "Thank you all"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' exclaims, "Yeah, but Rochelle is the MILF!"<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "She was a good character, Chris."<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>A Good year for Betty and Veronica. They were in IPCU as well."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "Betty and Veronica fantasies finally fulfilled"<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>Just not nearly as interestingly."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "film at 11"

(more cheers for Purple Dragon)

'''PurpleDragon''' says, "Maybe one day we'll see them in a hetro scene."<br>
'''A_Ninny''' asks, "How's the next chapter coming along, PD?"<br>
'''DavidW''' says, "That's chapter 2"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' holds out his tape recorder<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "We'd better."

==Best Threesome/Orgy==
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "We of the AIF community honor history, and in this next category, we recognize the admirable legacies left behind by such Luminaries as Caligula and Aleister Crowley"<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>Please."<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "Slowly"

(everyone agrees that the mud is lagging)

'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Yeah, I'm definitely hanging out for the rest..."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "I'm talking about best Orgy or 3-some"<br>
'''BBBen'''exclaims, "Oh my god! Orgies!"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' gasps.<br>
'''A_Ninny''' exclaims, "WHERE!"<br>
'''Guest2''' exclaims, "<NewKid>I love these. When someone else writes them!"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Same here Newkid"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "oh, orgies.  I thought you meant ogres"<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "Didn't get a lot of feedback on that one but there is a 3-some in the works anyway."<br>
'''Guest2''' asks, "<NewKid>HOw about an ogre orgy?"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "HOT"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "orgies are definitely headache inducing"<br>
'''BBBen'''laughs at A Ninny.<br>
'''A_Ninny''' asks, "Wasn't that the deal in [[timberwulf]]'s game?"<br>
'''abomire''' says, "Coming up in 'Shrek 3'"<br>
'''Guest2''' asks, "<NewKid>You mean Shrek 3Some?"<br>
'''chriscole''' asks, "is that a 10 foot club in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Circlejerking their way into third place, we have Malcolm with Verrin and Hensley from [[Escape Pod]]"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' spits coke on monitor<br>
'''abomire''' exclaims, "Uh...I do now!"<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "I wrote an mfff once. Orgies are difficult."<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>Too easyt. Soemone had to do it."

(congrats for Love Letters to Love)

'''LLTL''' listens intently"<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "I've always been a fan of the escape pod."<br>
'''LLTL''' exclaims, "thanks everybody!"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "LLTL is LLCoolJ's younger brother"<br>
'''Guest2''' Newkid laughs!<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "In second place, we have the Man with no name with Tina and Tonya, from [[Ideal Pacific Coast University|IPCU]]"<br>
'''LLTL''' laughs

(cheers for NewKid)

'''BBBen''' says, "A pity you've said you're not writing any more, LLTL."<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "congrats to the cheerleaders"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Does that mean the T stands for Too- I won't say it !"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "great scene"<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>Thank you. Thank you."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' leads a cheerleaders chang<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' chant<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "I thought you meant the Chinese cheerleader"<br>
'''BBBen'''is getting tired of cheering for Newkid.<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' laughs.<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>I'd have never tried that scene, but the idea got in my head and I had to rub it out..."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "And filling up the top of the podium with lots of free love, we have David with Lori and Kim from [[Fever Cabin]]!!"<br>
'''chriscole''' laughs<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "I got a fever of 103"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "Congrats to GoddoG wherever he is"<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>Now that is the definitive AIF threesome."<br>

(cheers for GoddoG)

'''A_Ninny''' says, "no holds barred whatsoever in that one"<br>
'''abomire''' exclaims, "Wow! That scene - just wow!"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Congrats to Goddog on the hot groupsex"<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "It was almost too much sex . . . Almost."<br>
'''BBBen'''asks, "CC, what's the name of that song?"<br>
'''chriscole''' asks, "um, "hot blooded" or something?"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Hot Blooded by Foreigner"<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>It was a pain to play, but it hurt so good."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "That was a hella long scene, must have been a bitch to write!"<br>
'''Guest2''' asks, "<NewKid>Hurts So Good?"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "So even more kudos Goddog's way."<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "I thought it was very thourough.  Perhaps too thourough.  I got a case of FF."<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "I'm hot blooded. Check it and see."<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "Thank you, no.."<br>
'''Guest2''' asks, "<NewKid>Has anyone ever finished a threesome scene and nmot immediately swore you'd never try another?"<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "Good scene though."<br>
'''Guest2''' asks, "<NewKid>Any writer, I mean?"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' laughs at NewKid<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "the main problems with threesomes and moresomes is that you can get very repetitive"<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "I wasn't burned out after the threesome in [[Crossworlds Part 2: The Flower Opens|CW2]]."

==Best Sex Overall==
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "the Next Category is for the BEST SEX scene. The Hottest of the Hot. I mean, so Hot that you spontaneously ejaculate all over your keyboard before the title screen even loads. THAT'S FUCKING HOT!"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' exclaims, "OW!"<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "I was going to write another, some day.  If I write another game."<br>
'''chriscole''' asks, "like Halo 2 you mean?"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Keep it under your hats, but the reason OM&M Salvation is yet to be released is because the final multiple person scene is taking ages to write!"<br>
'''BBBen'''asks, "Actually, isn't best sex overall?"<br>
'''abomire''' exclaims, "Chris: How'd you ever write that 4-some (or was it a 5-some) for [[Mount Voluptuous]]? Would have driven me crazy!"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "4-some. It took forever"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Err, yes, Best Sex Overall"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Either way, HOT!"<br>
'''Guest2''' exclaims, "<NewKid>Well, get on the with hot sex!"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "Steaming up the pool in third place, we have [[Pool Party|POOL PARTY]]!!"

(cheers and woots)

'''chriscole''' says, "awesome, thanks everyone"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Party hardy!"<br>
'''abomire''' says, "Thank you all."<br>
'''Guest2''' exclaims, "<NewKid>Hurts So Glub!"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "In second place, making the art of Kama Sutra look like crayon doodle, we have the [[The Sex Artist|SEX ARTIST]]!"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' faints dead away<br>
'''BBBen'''exclaims, "Ugh! Gotta go in 20 minutes!"

(woohoos and cheers for A. Ninny)

'''A_Ninny''' says, "thanks everyones"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "and proving that nothing is hotter than banging random co-eds at the nearest college campus, our winner is [[Ideal Pacific Coast University]]!!!"<br>
'''BBBen'''is not going to cheer for Newkid any more.

(everyone else cheers for NewKid)

'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "NewKid, sweeping the awards!"<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>Hmmm. Memo to self. THe fanboys like the quantity....."<br>
'''Guest2''' says, "<NewKid>Thank you all."<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "Not to give too much away about the voting, but that category was a bit of a rout."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "the god of idols proves again that god's writting, sex... smack... idol aif (shuts up and drains rum and coke)"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Wow, I would have thought that one would have been one of the closest."<br>
'''Guest2''' exclaims, "<NewKid>LOL!"<br>
'''Guest2''' asks, "<NewKid>CC, What as that? Or wierd itinerant friend?"

==Best Writing==
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "The next category is one that to me, personally, is probably my favorite. Without good writing, even the best premise is just a bunch of ideas slapped together."<br>
'''Guest2''' exclaims, "Gotta go guys. Sorry!"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "It's the words that forms the images in our minds that we remember, so lets celebrate the top writing in AIF"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' toasts good writing<br>
'''Guest2''' exclaims, "<NewKid>Thanks for all the fish!"<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "Take the money and run."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "later NewKid, you ungrateful bastard"<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' asks, "Money?"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "and so long"<br>
'''Guest2''' goes home.

(more byes to NewKid)

'''A_Ninny''' says, "and a pall falls on the room"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Coming in at third place, proving that even words can be works of art, we have [[the Sex Artist]]"<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "It's outrageous that Erin Awards day isn't a public holiday."<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "Write more."<br>
'''A_Ninny''' exclaims, "quick! cue the band!"

(applause)

'''A_Ninny''' says, "Thanks once again."<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "I owe it all to Puccini"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "In second place, we have the game [[Ideal Pacific Coast University|IPCU]] which was written by some bum who likes to take his awards and run away"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' slaps the editor on the back!<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "I call my dog Puccini sometimes."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "He slipped out just in time to not win one!"<br>
'''abomire''' thumbs his nose at NK now that he is gone.<br>
'''A_Ninny''' spits his drink all over the place<br>
'''LLTL''' exclaims, "Ha! Ha!"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "did [[Vachon]] write IPCU? (lame Vachon joke)"<br>
'''abomire''' asks, "Shouldn't that be Pooch-ini?"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' laugs at CC<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "Exactly."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "And the Winner of Best Writing... the work of AIF that would make Shakespear and Hemmingway gnash their teeth in jealousy..."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "[[Tomorrow Never Comes]], by A. Bomire!!"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "excellent choice, congrats AB"

(cheers for A. Bomire)

'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Hooray for TNC! Hooray for AB!"<br>
'''abomire''' blushes wildly.<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "definitely the right choice for this one."<br>
'''chriscole''' exclaims, "Hooray for Captain Spaulding!"<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "You deserved it, AB."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "It really was a great setting, great characters..."<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "Great game."<br>
'''abomire''' says, "Thanks again everyone. I'd like to thank the Academy, my agent of course, and I know I'm forgetting someone..."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "vachon"<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "I'm getting ahead of the contest, but I really liked the use of multi-media."<br>
'''A_Ninny''' summons forth a rimshot from the can, appropriately complimenting that wacky joke.<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' asks, "Lucilla for Brit training?"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "I'm trying to make it through the whole thing without saying the V word..."<br>
'''abomire''' says, "Ah yes...I'd like to thank Vachon."<br>
'''BBBen'''asks, "Vagina?"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "no, the BAD V word"<br>
'''BBBen'''asks, "Venereal?"<br>
'''chriscole''' asks, "mulva?"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "I thought we couldn't get through one of these without that word, BBBen!"<br>
'''abomire''' removes rubber mask to reveal he is actually Vachon.<br>
'''LLTL''' Snickers.  Elbows Chris Cole playfully.<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' gasps!<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "push gasp button"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' pushs a button on the can, and you hear the audience gasp.<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Dun dun dunnnnnn!"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "whoops"

==Best Technical Implementation==
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Okay, I'm trying to think up a clever and amusing introduction to the next category, but I got nothing"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "AB, and you would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for us wacky kids"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "Best Technical Implementation!"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "meddling kids"<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "Okay, let's do the ones I'm nominated for before I have to go..."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "In third place, we have the technical marvel of [[Fever Cabin]]!"

(applause for GoddoG)

'''LLTL''' panics, runs head first into a pillar, and forgets what A. Bomire just did.<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "In second place, we have the deserters game [[Ideal Pacific Coast University|IPCU]] which I suppose was pretty good even if the guy who wrote it is an ingrate"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Certainly a massive game, and a great effort from Goddog."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "very interesting game, and atmosphere created surrounding the game"

(cheers and boos for NewKid)

'''One-EyedJack''' says, "And the WINNER IS..."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "[[Tomorrow Never Comes]], by Va.... err, A. Bomire!!"

(loud cheers)

'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Ha ha! Two in a row for Bomire!"<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "I think Best Humour is the only one that I'm nominated for that we haven't done."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Wow, that identity change has really helped Vachon!"<br>
'''abomire''' says, "For this one, I have to thank my beta-testers."<br>
'''A_Ninny''' blushes<br>
'''abomire''' says, "Especially A. Ninny - the CSI of beta-testers.""

==Most Innovative Game==
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "The next category is for the games that push the envelope. The games that dare to probe the deepest, darkest, and dampest of orifices in the world of AIF"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' applauds the two A's<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "just call him Gil"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "I'm talking about the most innovative game"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Ah, this one should be interesting!"<br>
'''BBBen'''exclaims, "Orifices!"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "Delving its way into third place, we have [[Fever Cabin]] by [[Goddog]]!!"<br>
'''BBBen'''exclaims, "Oh, innovation!"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "I should say - to the last compliment by AB, that it helps when you have an excellent game to work with."

(cheers for GoddoG)

'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "He could have coured cancer, but lucky for us, instead [[David Whyld]] placed second with [[Choices (game)|Choices]]!!"

(cheers for David Whyld; some confusing DavidW for him)

'''chriscole''' exclaims, "it's Vachon!"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "and the winner of most innovative game, the game that will cook you bagels and even do your laundry if you find the right buttons..."<br>
'''abomire''' pulls of yet *another* mask to reveal he is David Whyld!<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "Tomorrow Never Comes, by A. Bomire!"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' faints again

(cheers)

'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Wow, that must be one crowded keyboard at AB's place... Oh, and congrats!"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "TNC coming home strong!"<br>
'''abomire''' faints as well.<br>
'''BBBen''' says, "Stupid Tommorow Never Comes. Winning all the awards."<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "dum de dum dum - dum dum dum - dum de dum dum - dum dum dum - The band is starting to tire of this song."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "who exactly A Bomire had to blow for these wins will not be revealed until much later"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' could never get tired of the Bond theme...<br>
'''abomire''' says, "Thank you everyone who voted. Especially OEJ who told me exactly who to bribe and blow to get the awards."<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "just put your lips together and . . . no wait thats not it."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Hey, I learned from experience"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' zips up his pants<br>
'''chriscole''' lols<br>
'''A_Ninny''' tosses tissues in trash can<br>
'''chriscole''' asks, "say wha mofo?"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "A picture tells a thousands words... especially when it's a picture of BOOBIES! All right! The next category is for Best Multimedia in an AIF game!"<br>
'''chriscole''' asks, "did someone say boobies?"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Alright, I think we can guess this one..."<br>
'''DavidW''' says, "he did. he did say boobies."<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "This one was a bit of a rout as well, voting-wise."<br>
'''abomire''' looks around for boobies.<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "I think I know who will win this one."<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "I shoud hope so."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Coming into third place, we have [[X-Men: First Day at the Institute|X-Men, First Day at the Institute]] by [[Captain Cranky Pants]]"

(applause)

'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Oh Captain, my Captain!"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "gotta love the x-(wo)men"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "In second place, we have Fever Cabin making another strong showing for Goddog!"<br>
'''BBBen'''apologises to everyone and wishes everyone good luck, but he has to go to work now.<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "And the winner is..."

(everyone says "see ya" to BBBen; applause for GoddoG)

'''One-EyedJack''' says, "the Multi-Media extravaganza..."<br>
'''BBBen'''exclaims, "This has been fun, see you all later!"<br>
'''BBBen'''goes home.<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "The Winner is... Tomorrow Never Comes, by Bomire of course"

(congrats to A. Bomire. Again.)

'''LLTL''' says, "I knew it!  I'm psychic."<br>
'''abomire''' says, "Thanks again. I was a little hesitant with this game - multimedia in a text game always seems iffy. But I felt I had to in order to get the right 'feel'."<br>
'''chriscole''' asks, "who is this A Bomire guy you all keep mentioning?"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "I'm totally gonna roll Bomire in the parking lot after the show and pawn of all his Erins for drug money"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' asks, "Is that what you did with your own Erins last year?"<br>
'''chriscole''' laughs<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "I'm not crazy about MM mysef but Bomire did it tastefully, I must admit"<br>
'''LLTL''' asks, "What's the street value of an Erin?"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "It'll get you a paper bag and a tube of glue if you look in the right place LLTL"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "It works best when it's not all about unlocking the next picture."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "one doobie butt"<br>
'''LLTL''' asks, "Can I get rent money for a third place?"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "I don't mind it as an aid"<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "That is to say, a third place award not a third place to live."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "See if you can sell 'em to Goddog - he's come close to soooo many!"

==Best Puzzles==
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "the next category is for people who like em LONG and the like em HARD. They want to STRAIN till they are overflowing with the challenge..."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "I'm talking about best puzzles, of course"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "I'm starting to think we have too many categories."<br>
'''abomire''' asks, "Are we still talking about awards?"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' asks, "There are MORE?"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "Confounding its way into third place, we have [[The Reunion]]!"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Well, as I was saying to BBBen earlier, I suck at writing puzzles, so I appreciate this award going to those who can!"<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "Just a few."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "this is always a hard category for me as I suck at puzzles"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "I suck at them too. I usually don't even try"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "suck at writing them and solving them"<br>
'''abomire''' claps politely.<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "You just described me perfectly, CC."<br>
'''LLTL''' asks, "AIF isn't known for it's tradition of puzzles, is it?"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "Befuddling its way into our hearts and the runner up position, we have [[Tomorrow Never Comes]], which finally doesn't win!"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' asks, "How about this one: which body part to interact with next?"

(cheers for TNC not winning one)

'''abomire''' pouts and flips everyone the bird!<br>
'''DavidW''' says (to LLTL), "maybe not, but puzzles are still interesting"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Women are a puzzle, so it makes sense to me *rimshot*"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "and the most mind-bending of AIF games, the Erin goes to [[Ideal Pacific Coast University|IPCU]], by NewKid!!"

(cheers for NewKid)

'''chriscole''' exclaims, "hoorah for walkthroughs!"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "That game gave me a brain-ache."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' cheers a great puzzler!<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "there is a walkthru for it? Cuz I'm totally stuck in that game"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "I kept trying to solve the chick on the lawn."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "I'm not sure if there's a walk for it, but I needed the walks for his older games"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "The chick on the lawn will be the 'Aeris can be ressurected' of AIF."<br>
'''A_Ninny''' hopes he didn't spoil anything for anyone<br>
'''A_Ninny''' wishes, oh yes he does<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "speaking of old games, I still think [[Moist]] should win everything every year"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' toasts Moist<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "I hear if you get two stones, rub them together under a full moon will singing "hey nonny nonny" backwards, she strips and appears in your room.:"<br>
'''abomire''' says, "I know I voted for it in several categories."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' asks, "Can there be a lifetime achievement award for a game?"<br>
'''chriscole''' asks, "didn't Vachon write Moist?"<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "I just replayed Moist again.  Don't do that with many games."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "We live in an enlightened society where adults can talk about sex in a mature and frank manner. I say fuck that bullshit and give me potty humor and crude sex jokes any day!"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' keeps mum.<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "That's why his later efforts were so disappointing, CC!"<br>
'''chriscole''' laughs!

==Best Humor==
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "And now for Best Humor in an AIF game"<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "oh, how the mighty have fallen."<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "I need to go in a few minutes, unfortunately."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "in third place, we have [[Crawler's Delight]], by [[A. Troll|A.Troll]]..."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "who shares the same name as Mr Bomire it seems"

(applause)

'''LLTL''' says, "Moist!  First AIF I ever got hooked on."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "same here, Moist is an absolute classic"<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "I think all of us did, LL2L"<br>
'''abomire''' says, "He and Ninny and I are brothers."<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "very disturbing game. crawler, not moist."<br>
'''DavidW''' says, "First AIF for me was [[Softporn Adventure]]."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "I think I'll change my name to A.Hole"<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "You know, Ilsa was my major inspiration for Verrin."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "The runner up for humor, is [[Ideal Pacific Coast University|IPCU]]!"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "and the winner of the Erin for Best Humor..."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "[[Crossworlds Part 3: The Final Far Far Away Frontier|Crossworlds Part III]]!!!!!"<br>
'''abomire''' exclaims, "Hooray for NK!"<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "I'm thinking of the right name aren't I?  It's been a while.  Need to play it again."<br>
'''A_Ninny''' says, "OK, All.  I need to flee.  My wife wants me to actually talk to her.  Go figure. Thanks for a great time."<br>
'''chriscole''' exclaims, "just in time for BBBen to miss it!"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Oh, poor BBBen! Here for everything but the award he won!"

(cheers for BBBen; byes to A. Ninny)

'''A_Ninny''' says, "Thanks all."<br>
'''A_Ninny''' goes home.

==Best New Author==
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "And now for best New Author of AIF. I'm going to name all four who got votes since they all deserve some recongnition"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' asks, "No, no, AB, laugh WITH me, okay?"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Most definitely, the more new authors the better."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "In 4th place, we have [[Captain Cranky Pants]]!"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "it was a good year for new writers"<br>
'''stormchild''' goes home.<br>
'''abomire''' claps for the Cap'n.<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "Yes, a couple of REALLY good first atempts."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "Cruising into a solid third place, we have [[Fellatrix_uk|Fellatrix_UK]]!"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Oh Captain, my ... well, you get the idea."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' applauds Fellatrix. Casting was throroughly enjoyable.<br>
'''abomire''' exclaims, "Yay for Inform!"<br>
'''LLTL''' fidgets.<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Wowing his way into the runner-up position, we have [[Moriarty]]"<br>
'''abomire''' whistles for Moriarty.<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "who happens to have the same name as the last name of the very first person I ever beat up!"<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' asks, "huh?"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "nothing... never mind"<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "k"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "You knew someone named Moriarty? Awesome."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "and Holmes' arch nemesis"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "yeah I punched him in the nose in second grade"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Moriarty has actually infiltrated the AIF scene for... REVENGE!"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "so you punched him in 'elementary'... interesting"<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "OEJ is a brilliant but addled person."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "and the winner of the Erin for best new Author is...."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "[[GoddoG|Goddog]]!!!"

(cheers)

'''One-EyedJack''' says, "who didn't show up, the bum"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Well deserved noetheless"<br>
'''LLTL''' asks, "Goddog, what did he do, agian?"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Definitely, that many nominations alone were a sign of the quality of Fever Cabin."<br>
'''DavidW''' says, "Fever Cabin"<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "That's right.  Congrats."<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "did anyone here get anywhere close to max points."<br>
'''abomire''' exclaims, "Not even close - and I beta-tested it!"<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "lol"<br>
'''DavidW''' says, "I'm still trying to bag Miss Brown in Archie's Birthday."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Two guys worked together to do it, I do believe."

==Best Beta-testers==
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "the next category is a new one (I think)"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "While beta testers are certainly important, after looking at the nominess, I'm suspecting the Erin's committee created this category just so they could pad their win totals"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' laughs.<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Coming in third place for best beta tester, we have a tie"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Oooh, conflict!@"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "[[Richard Gillingham]], [[Germ Waster]], [[Rob Loggie]], and [[Emily James]] can all pat each other's back over a job well done"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "the probably only lost because of vote gouging anyway"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Yay for EJ, she helped test [[Of Masters and Mistresses Part 1: Abduction|Abduction]]!"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "Rob Loggie is the god of beta testers in my experience"<br>
'''LLTL''' exclaims, "Yay, Germ Waster!"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "second place goes to [[A. Bomire|A Bomire]] who must have cheated or something"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Damn straight!"<br>
'''abomire''' exclaims, "I 'beta-tested' the results - that's how won all those awards!"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "and the winner of the Erin for best Beta Tester, goes to the guy who ran out before he could face the music"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "A Bomire is great to work with"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "Mister [[A. Ninny]]!"

(cheers)

==Best Game==
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "and now for the big moment"<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "What's still left?  I forgot my program."<br>
'''abomire''' says, "I've said it before and I'll say it again - working with Ninny is like working with one of those guys on CSI. He has special lights and stuff to see into the corners."<br>
'''chriscole''' asks, "best tits?"<br>
'''DavidW''' says, "Best Game and Badman Memorial are left, I think."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "now for the top of the tops"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "The best damn game of them all"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Now we're getting to the meat and potatoes..."<br>
'''abomire''' says, "I think NewKid said 'Meat' wasn't nominated."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "since this is such a big category, I'l list all five placers"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "Coming in at 5th place, we have the collaboration of [[Pool Party]]!"

(cheers)

'''One-EyedJack''' says, "I enjoyed that game"<br>
'''abomire''' says, "Thanks everyone."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Definitely a top game."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Cruising into fourth place, we have A Ninny's opus, [[The Sex Artist]]"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "considering the other nominees, it was an honor to be nominated"

(cheers)

'''PurpleDragon''' says, "any one of the five could have won this in privious years."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "Muscling into third place, we have newcomer GOddog with his debut, [[Fever Cabin]]!"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "great accomplishment"

(applause)

'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "And the Runner up for Best game, goes to A. Bomire and [[Tomorrow Never Comes]]!"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "It's really been a great year, we've been blessed."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Huzzah for more Bond-action!"

(wahoos and yays)

'''chriscole''' exclaims, "I bet I know who wins!"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "And since there can be only one winner"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "I got it, it's actually Agent Bomire!"<br>
'''abomire''' says, "Thanks again.""<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' tunes up the band.<br>
'''chriscole''' asks, "Highlander?"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' laughs<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "congratulations to NewKid and [[Ideal Pacific Coast University]] for winning the Best Game Erin!!!"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "no room left on his mantle"<br>
'''abomire''' exclaims, "Whoo-hoo! Yay NewKid! Thanks for coming out of semi-retirement!"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "NewKid back from retirement with a corker!"

==Badman Memorial==
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "and the final moment"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "the Badman Memorial Lifetime Achievement Award"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "I wrote something up but I'm not sure if it does justice to the recipient"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "It's one thing to be prolific, another altogether to be both prolific and GOOD, which is exactly what Christopher Cole is"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "His writing is sharp and inspired, evoking powerful images with just the right amount of words to let the imagination run wild while the eyes lay riveted to the screen."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "His characters are vivid and the situations he creates sit just on the edge of fantasy, here everything feels like it really could happen to you on some very, very fine day."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "There was a time when Chris Cole carried AIF on his back. A time when he was essentially the only person writing AIF, keeping the genre alive when evil unnamed forces would have buried it beneath steaming piles of ineptitude."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "And he also helped usher in a "new age" of AIF by creating numerous support and discussions communities where the scene has thrived ever since."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "So congratulations to [[Christopher Cole]], a true AIF stud."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' rises to his feet.<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "holy shit, boys"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' gives a standing ovation.

(cheers and congratulations)

'''abomire''' stands and cheers, clapping Chris on the back!<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "I'm speechless (except for saying I'm speechless, and this bit in parentheses)"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Long overdue, really. We wouldn't be here today, unless... *sniff*... *sniff*"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' breaks down.<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "Congrats, Chris, It's high time."<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "Yeah I remember when he was the only game in town.  A good game too."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "wow, really thanks guys. This is awesome"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "The [[:Template:Encounter series|Encounter Series]], [[:Template:Camp Windy Lake series|Camp Windy Lake 1 & 2]]..."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Not to mention [[Pool Party]], of course!"<br>
'''abomire''' exclaims, "[[Gamma Gals]] and Camp Windy Lake are all time classics!"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Camp Windy lake is one of my all-time favorites"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Oof, how can I forget Gamma Gals? Top game as well."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "gee wiz talk about a swelled head"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "I loved the [[Lara Croft: The Sun Obelisk|Tomb Raider one]] too, even though I've never played any of the games"<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "I'm glad you started writing again.  You were missed when you left."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "and [[Mount Vuluptious]] was the best name for any AIF ever"<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "If it wern't for you, I wouldn't be the pervert I am today. Ah, well, yeah, congrats anyways."<br>
'''chriscole''' laughs<br>
'''abomire''' says, "I would still be the same pervert - just less happy."<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "ok everybody, group hug."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Awwwwwww...."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "Well, hopefully I can get some of these new ones finished"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "are you sure you want to hug me? I'm not wearing pants"<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "good point."<br>
'''abomire''' asks, "Who will OEJ hug now that BBBen is gone?"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "hey I'm not picky"<br>
'''LLTL''' holds out arms in an offering gesture.<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' leaps in for the group hug.<br>
'''LLTL''' joins group hug.

(From '''abomire''') Everyone hugs and pats each other on the back, snuffling and wiping at the eyes.

==Post-Ceremony Chatter==
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "How about a round of applause for One-Eyed Jack everyone?  Great job."<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "I like things that involve human contact and the word "group""<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "That ass doesn't deserve it"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Here's to the MC!"<br>
'''chriscole''' starts group hug with Mimi Rogers, Alyssa Milano, and Nadine Jansen

(cheers to One-Eyed Jack)

'''PurpleDragon''' asks, "When did they sneek in?"<br>
'''abomire''' exclaims, "Also a big cheer to A. Ninny for all of the work on the awards!"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "they in my limo homey"<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' asks, "Can I have a ride home?"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Yeas, I forgot to mention that. Special thanks to everyone involved with the Erin voting, tallying and organization"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' raises a glass to all the organisers.<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "theree's enough room for everyone (who didn't leave early, tee hee)"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "good job all, and again thanks so much for the Badman award. I am truly honored"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' asks, "You wouldn't happen to have Kate Beckinsale in there too, would you?"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "I think she's driving"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' exclaims, "I CALL SHOTGUN!"

'''LLTL''' asks, "Wait, so who won the Vachon award?"<br>
'''DavidW''' says, "No Vachon award this year."<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "We got rid of it."<br>
'''DavidW''' says, "It was mentioned in the newsletter not to do that one."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "It's funny but just a bit cruel I think"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "kind of mean spirited I guess"<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "ahh..."<br>
'''abomire''' says, "The award committe did away with the Vachon award. Didn't want to focus on what is wrong with AIF."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "It's not the kind of spirit we want around any more. More encouragement, less ridicule."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "was there one last year? I forget"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "not that I mind cruelty but the community is small enough"<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "I thought I might win one."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Too bad, it would've been nice to get a nomination ;)"<br>
'''PurpleDragon''' says, "NONE of the games this year were bad enough anyway, IMHO."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "Vachon can just have a Vachon lifetime underachievment award or something."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "man, I'm on the poor guy tonight"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "The only game I really didn't like was [[Rachel's Bad Day]], but I found that more distasteful than anything."<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "Sly Old Vachon"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "Vachon still sends virus laden e-mails to one of my old accounts"<br>
'''chriscole''' says, "good grief"<br>
'''LLTL''' says, "I couldn't figure out how to get anywhere in that mass transit game by the sneaky canine."

'''abomire''' says, "Well gents (and any dames out there), it's been fun but I must go."<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "I don't recall even getting past the first room in that Rachel game"<br>

(people start saying their farewells and goodnights)

'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "I played the Inform port, which was slightly better."<br>
'''abomire''' waves politely around a handful of awards.

('''abomire''', '''LLTL''' leave.)

'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "I guess we'll see the final count later."<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' asks, "Who's transcribing this...?"<br>
'''One-EyedJack''' says, "the bot is"<br>
'''GrimmSharlak''' says, "Ah, alright then."

('''chriscole''', '''PurpleDragon''', '''One-EyedJack''' leave.)

'''GrimmSharlak''' exclaims, "Well, I guess I'd better stop talking about dirty text games and get back to work. Bye all, it's been fun!"

[[Category:Erins]] [[Category:2005]] [[Category:Digests]]